5 Things You Don't Need to Share on the Internet

These days everyone's on Facebook, or Twitter, or Instagram, or Tumblr. Everyone's got a blog. We've all got access to some form of social media where we can share whatever we want with all our friends. And we are sharing plenty - some might even say too much!
So here's a handy little list of things you should avoid posting for all your friends and followers to see (because - trust me - they aren't that interested):

1. Lists about what people shouldn't share on the internet. Seriously, who the fuck are you, the Facebook police? I'll share whatever I damn well please - it's my facebook and my twitter and my whatever-the-fuck else. And yours is too! Don't read lists like these and think you have to follow them. Grow the fuck up and make your own damn decisions! Does it comply with terms of service? Do you think you should share it? If you answered yes to both, share that shit! (not literal shit - even I will tell you not to post that.) If people don't want to see the things you post, fuck 'em. Why are they even following you?

Yes, other people have opinions and interests that are different from yours. And as nice as it would be if it were true, you are not a special little butterfly whose sensibilities are not allowed to ever, ever be offended. People are going to say things on the internet that you don't want to hear and they are going to share pictures that you don't want to see. Get over it. Unless it's actually, like, illegal or something, ignore it; it takes about two seconds to scroll right on past it.

Seriously. Grow the fuck up, butterfly.

Peace

This is the world we live in.

Until very recently I was an English major. I decided a long time ago that I would major in English because I've always genuinely enjoyed my English classes and I really love grammar. So I was an English major for a while, but I've decided it isn't for me. So, while I no longer have that validation, I still really love grammar and I know a lot about it. I get a weekly grammar tip in my e-mail that I usually enjoy because it's usually about one of those tricky little rules we all know English is just fraught with.

Then I got this one:

Come on, people! Really? There are people out there who don't understand the difference between 'lose' and 'loose'? I just can't comprehend that. I can't. It makes no sense to me. 

Of course, this week's tip was on how to use 'kind' vs. 'kinds,' so, I dunno, maybe they're just running out of topics over there at the Grammar Girl offices. 

I am a Nerd.

I'm sure you figured that out already, but, really, I am. I'm ok with that, though, because, as John Green says, being a nerd really just means that I like things a lot. It's just that the things I like are things other people don't tend to like - like grammar and etymology.
Sometimes, though, my nerdiness makes things difficult for me.
For example: we just finished watching Macbeth in my theater class, so we did a lot of discussion about it and about Shakespeare in general. It was all very interesting and insightful for me until the TEACHER remarked that sometimes Shakespeare is hard to understand because it's written in Old English.

This is not true.
Shakespeare did not write in Old English.
This is Old English:

Fæder ure þu þe eart on heofonum
Si þin nama gehalgod
to becume þin rice
gewurþe ðin willa
on eorðan swa swa on heofonum.
urne gedæghwamlican hlaf syle us todæg
and forgyf us ure gyltas
swa swa we forgyfað urum gyltendum
and ne gelæd þu us on costnunge
ac alys us of yfele soþlice
(That's the Lord's Prayer, in case you are wondering.)

Old English is old. It was spoken by the Anglo-Saxons starting sometime in the mid-5th century. Beowulf is written in Old English. Around the 13th century, Old English became Middle English, which finally, another three hundred years later, became Modern English. 
Yes. Shakespeare's plays are written in Modern English. Specifically, they were written in Early Modern English, which is really only one generation removed (linguistically speaking) from the language we speak. There are some differences, like some of the spelling, grammar, and sentence structure. The vocabulary is also different, but a lot of it was different then, too. Shakespeare invented over 1700 words for his plays and many of them stuck and are still used today (like swagger and gossip and road). He experimented with words and their parts of speech, too; the man was turning nouns into verbs long before we were googling and facebooking. He had a huge impact on the language we speak today and I don't think people realize that because back in English class they were too busy whining about how hard it was to understand, which it isn't, really. It's just different and it requires a little extra thought.

I realize that anyone who reads this will probably not care that much about Shakespeare and the various forms of the English language; not as much as I do, anyway. That doesn't matter, though, because I had a lot of fun researching them and I'm probably going to keep researching because I think the whole thing is fascinating.

And THAT is why I am a nerd.

Pottermore

I want a book about Professor McGonagall. Man, there is way more to her than we ever knew.

Also, my lifelong suspicions have been confirmed - I got sorted into Ravenclaw. Suck on that, Evanna Lynch! Get in in one of the first batches and then whine to everybody about how you didn't get the house you wanted...ugh.

I think that was what bothered me the most about waiting for my welcome email. It was cool when other people would get excited about wizard duelling and potions and house points - that just made me look forward to it. But then there were all these people who just kept whining about how they got sorted into the "wrong" house. I wanted to smack them. Here I was, waiting (not so) patiently just to get to use the site and all they can do is cry about how they'd always just known they were meant to be in Slytherin, but they got some other house. Or about how they got Hufflepuff. Man, WHAT is with the Hufflepuff hating? Slytherin has a reputation for turning out evil wizards like Voldemort and annoying little snots like Draco Malfoy (although, admittedly, I found some love for Draco in the end), but they get more love than loyal, hard-working Hufflepuffs. I mean, I know the only really impressive Hufflepuff we got to meet was introduced and [SPOILER ALERT] killed within one book (then came back as a vampire - what the heck, Wormtail?), but COME ON. They are LOYAL and HARD-WORKING and generally, all-around nice people. Fun fact -Tonks was a Hufflepuff! Tonks is awesome! (I like the idea that Teddy ended up in Hufflepuff, too, don't you?)

I mean, clearly, Hufflepuff is awesome. But some people seem to be offended by being sorted into it. Me, I just wanted the chance to get sorted at all and I did not appreciate all these people whining about "wrong" houses when they could be getting over it and reading all the special notes! And brewing potions! (Which needs some work.) And practicing spell-casting! (Also could use some work.)

In summary, there is some really cool stuff on Pottermore and, so far, very little of it (some background colors?) seems to be affected by what house you are in. If you are offended by what you think your sorting says of your personality then try to remember that it is fiction and no one is stopping from closing that browser and going to do something else. Stop taking it so seriously.

Really. I could write pages and pages about how good I think the HP books are for building reading skills and confidence and how and why they should be taught in schools and I am telling you to take them less seriously.
Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go finish brewing a potion :)

I'm giving myself an F in remembering.

While I was sitting in some class (can't even remember which one!) today, I thought of a bunch of different stories I could tell you, internet. I can't remember any of them now, but I'm pretty sure they were good.
You will simply have to take my word for it.

On the plus side, I found several hours of free time to read today! Which is pretty crazy because it's Thursday and on Thursday I have class all day.

Ok, that's not entirely true. I have class at 9:30, then at 11, then at 1:30, but that last one goes until 3:10, so. Bottom line is, I'm at the college all day and since circumstances are such that I have to get there at 7AM, I'm REALLY there all day.
Now, I knew it would be like that from the beginning and I thought I would hate it - cue Kindle to the rescue!
You guys, my Kindle might be the best thing I have ever owned. I am not even getting paid to say that. I just genuinely LOVE the thing. I love that I can carry dozens of books with me at all times (I know it can hold thousands, but come on, it's gonna take me some time to work up to that many) and it just weighs a few ounces and takes up almost no room. I love that when I finish a book and I'm still stuck at the college with nothing to do there are literally thousands of books I can browse on my Kindle and download and start reading right then. And so many of those books are free! Actually, that might be my favorite thing about Kindle - the free books on Kindle. I'm a broke college student who's also addicted to books, so you can see why I would appreciate FREE ones so much, right?
Anyway, so I have Kindle and I have lots of books and I have lots of time to kill every morning. Now, some background: last year I attended a very large university which I loved and also didn't love for many reasons. There was always stuff to do there and there was always homework or a test to stress over and, you guys, I just stopped reading books. For a whole year, I read maybe three books. It was weird and very unlike me, but I just didn't have time and I didn't make time to sit down and read.

Now, I go to a much smaller college and I'm much less stressed and pressed for time. So I'm reading again and it is wonderful. Since school started three weeks ago I've finished two books and started two more (reading two books at the same time! It's been years since I've done that.). I'm back to being my old bookworm self and it's really nice.

So there, I came up with a story to tell you.
I'm not sure it was as good as the ones I forgot.

I forgot this existed.

Not that Blogger exists. Or blogging. Or, like, the internet.
Obviously.

No, I forgot that my Blogger account exists and has existed for over a year - and I never posted a single thing! Which is crazy because, I can assure you, I have THINGS TO SAY.

So that'll probably be happening.

Maybe.